elenamary

de aquí y de allá - mirish xicana finds her place

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February 2004
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La Malinche y mas

February 11th, 2004 by elenamary

I’ve never understood the obsession with La Malinche until now, and only because I am using her as an icon in with whom I can identify with, who can help me define my behavior, my sexual relationships, my personal identity—yes ladies and gentlemen, I have become Xicana.Who is La Malinche? She is a women known by many names; Mother of Mestizos, La Primera Madre de nuestra nacionalidad (the first mother of our nationality), La Madre Violada (the raped mother), Malintzin, La Chingada (the fucked/raped one), Doña Marina, the traitor, the womb, the tongue…

Malinche was a translator for Hernan Cortez. Some texts will argue that she was an Aztec princess sold to Hernan Cortez, she was neither Aztec nor a princess. A description of her as princesses was not used until she had a child by Cortez, and was needed to be described as “noble” by Spanish historians after the conquest. Also, most texts of that time make note that she was not Aztec but Chicanos have made her Aztec, they pretty much have made almost all Mexicans Aztec—which we are not—but that is another story.

So, La Malinche is this women who has been sold as a slave since childhood between many tribes. She learns not only their languages but the ethos of their languages. She is sold to the Spanish where she learns Spanish and is then given to Hernan Cortez with another 20 or so women. It is here that it is noticed that she can be valuable as a translator for Cortez. She warns Cortez of an uprising against him. Cortez using this knowledge goes out and slaughters a whole town where the uprising is supposed to be coming from, and this is argued, is what leads him to take full control of México. La Malinche gives birth to what is argued is the first Mestizo child (Cortez being the father) and this child is taken away from her and to Spain where he can be raised correctly. All of this is oversimplified but you all get the jist.

So, Xicana feminists love reclaiming La Malinche because she is the virgin/whore dichotomy in one. She is super intelligent and yet portrayed as a whore. She is thought of as a traitor to her race (the indigenous people of Mexico) and yet as the mother of La Mestizaje. She is referred to in text as only body parts, tongue and womb. Her tongue a tool used to bring down the people and equated with evil, her womb equated with goodness and the carrier of the Mestizo people. She is a whore and a mother. She is referred to as La Chingada (the fucked one), Cortez as El Chingon (the fucker) and her children as the hijos of la chingada (children of the fucked–the byproducts of rape).

I like la Malinche because she is really misunderstood (not that i think she will ever be understood). But for christs sake, my people, the Purepecha, like others could be blamed for the fall of the Aztecs. The Aztecs sent messengers to the Purepecha for assistance, and the Aztec messengers were sacrificed. It wasn’t one person like La Malinche, or one group of people like the Purepecha that brought the fall of multiple nations, but many factors.

Sometimes, Mexican or Chicana women who date or marry outside of Latino are referred to as Malinchistas. I like this in that it gives me something I can grab a hold of reconstruct and return to the world. Go ahead, I want to be a MALINCHISTA! I am hija de una chingada. But I will not be a chingada nor will I be a virgin, nor am I Eve your temptress. I am smart and quick tongued, and all the goodness and sexuality of the womb.

Posted in Xicano, personal, sexuality, womyn | 6 Comments »

I’m a racist

February 8th, 2004 by elenamary

So here is the deal, I am a racist. Katie told me today that I use the word Oreo and Coconut too much…she is totally right. So, I am not going to use it again for the next year. Mark my word. I’ve also decided that I am not going to bring up race identity issues with anyone I am more than just friends with. It must be frustrating, to have some off white girl, questioning you about race…so it shall end.
I’ve also realized that not everyone is going to see my friends as awesome as they are…which I should’ve realized from reading Urban Tribes. Anyway, I do have wonderful friends, whom have been calling me all day to check and see how I am doing. I am very lucky.

BOMBO

Can I say I do miss Bombo a lot. Last time I saw him, which was september, he told me about the first time he realized he liked me. We were at Sabotage where a Beatles cover band was preforming. He said that I was singing along, and dancing and looked so happy. He wondered if I was drunk and then realized I didn’t drink alcohol. He wondered if I was high on coke, and then found out I didn’t use drugs. “You were so full of life, so excited, it was beautiful…” he said to me. I melted. He wasn’t saying these things to hit on me, he was just remembering the wonderful times we had together. I miss that, I want the next person I date to be that into me, to think that I am just so amazing, and so full of life. I miss Bombo not just becaue he thought those things of me, but because he too was full of life.
eh.

Posted in personal | 1 Comment »

back in business

February 7th, 2004 by elenamary

Por fin voy usar esta pagina para algo, aunque sea un blog que solamente sirve para tomar espacio…euhh. I guess I will finally use this site for something, even if it is a blog…glob=waste of space. 

Posted in personal | No Comments »

Sample entry

February 7th, 2004 by elenamary

Guess who’s half-birthday it is!

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Phil

February 5th, 2004 by elenamary

Today, Phil was offered the job in Austin. It was wonderful news at first but now is somewhat bitter sweet. It is awesome for him, however I’ll be losing my friend. And up until yesterday I thought I’d be moving to Austin too (not until September). However, it is beginning to look like I may end up moving to Puerto Rico to finish my sciences.

To celebrate Phil’s awesome news we went to the Wexner center to see Leningrad Cowboys Go America and during a scene on La Frontera with La Virgen de Guadalupe in the backdrop, Phil leans in and whispers “Every time I see Virgin Mary, I see Vaginas. It is all your fault. I am serious.”

Posted in personal, sexuality | No Comments »

God Bless Friends

February 1st, 2004 by elenamary

Today would have sucked if it weren’t for friends. Spent almost 5 hours eating “breakfast” at Katie’s & Christie’s. It was great. Food was great, people were great, conversation was great. Joe, Phil, Jacqueline, Matt, Emily, Katie, Christie and me. We discussed our Halloween costumes. Christie went as the Heart of Darkness how cool is that? My first response was “Ohmygawd, you really are a PhD student in English”. Speaking of which I found out Jason got kicked out of the PhD program—it really is too bad but at the same time he has been working on his PhD for over a decade now.God bless Becca, whom gave me a wonderful hug.

God bless, Ariana, the best XicanaJew ever; who listened to me complain about people I had to deal with.

God bless Milca, ’cause she is one cool Matriarch.

I am one lucky lady, to have such great friends. Now, if I could just find a benefactor.

Posted in personal | No Comments »