Elenamary

A couple nights ago, my friend Miles stopped by.  We had two distinct conversations.  One where he asked me if I believed in falling in love and was then amazed when I said yes.  He told me that of all people I shouldn´t believe in love as much as I had been burned.

The next conversation was quite contrary to the first.  Miles explained that he knew he was loved.  “I´ve got plenty of love.  You love me.  Nico (my roommate) loves me.  My family and friends love me.  What I need is sex not love.”

Miles ideas weren´t mutually exclusive.  I think what we want is someone who will love us AND who we are sexually attracted to AND who is sexually attracted to us.

The past month-and-a-half have been very rough on me.  The relationship I was in wasn´t at all has it had appeared, not even his name was real.  Falling in love was wonderful, it was the reality that hurt like a bitch.  The last few days I´ve been hoping I would fall off a steep mountain and into a rocky river with rapid waters.  The fall would be exhilarating, only the landing would hurt but the rapid waters would wash all the blood and pain away, without anyone ever knowing it exisited.   And maybe, my spirt could be carried away by an errant wind.