Elenamary

I sometimes wonder if I will ever run into that ex boyfriend. You know the one. That one that broke my heart and killed the innocence of first love that can never be regained? Yeah, that one.

I figure I will run into him. I am in city full of his friends and family. I am bound to run into either him or his family. It will have been three years this January since the end of our relationship, and I have yet once to run into either him or anyone related to him. I’m lucky I guess. I fear it.

I did not do anything bad at the end of our relationship. He was the one that made it a terrible dysfunctional conclusion to what had been a loving supportive relationship, yet i fear it.

I FEAR the moment when I’ll run into him. It is not a matter of “if” but “when”.

I joked with a good girlfriend that i am bound to run into him on a bad day, that is not a good day. A good day to run into him would be perhaps after receiving the good news about a fabulous new career opportunity, acceptance into a wonderful medical program, and being proposed to by my sexy boyfriend. A good day would be at my favorite coffee shop, me happy with all the good news and dressed in a sexy yet comfortable black t-shirt and ass lifting jeans, with my adorable cute and intelligent boyfriend next to me with the NY Times and Financial time strewn between the two of us. He will ask me how life is going and I will say “Perfect!”
This is NOT how I will run into him. I am sure of it.

Instead, I will run into him, most likely right after failing a terrible difficult exam that causes me to doubt my abilities and encourages me to purchase a pint of chocolate and box of cookies. I fear I will run into him at the grocery store, my eyes blood shot, my hair a mess, sweat pants with multiple food stains, and a dozen donuts in hand. I will fake a smile and he will ask me “How are you?” and I will think about the fact that I am bloated, unemployed, failing school and without a partner. I will lie, and I will respond “Life is good. How are you?”

Truth is life is good. School is good, work is good, I have plenty of time to travel and am really enjoying time with my friends and yes even have that *special* guy. But that isn’t when you run into ex’s you run into them on the bad day’s, so, I guess I am safe for now!